| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2007|03:09 pm] |
I.
Fucking.
HATE.
Funerals.
My god father passed away on Christmas, we had the viewing on friday and the burial earlier today. I hated it, my god father was a lot like my father, he was infact my father's best friend and one of the few people I could readily turn to. All during the visit I did not cry, not because I didn't want to, because I couldn't. I don't like suffocating.
ALL his relatives and friends who did not know me were constantly giving me "You dirty heathen" looks, judgeing me as if I did not care and belittleing me. All the while my father was straining to keep himself maintained, be DID break down yesterday though only I saw it. Seeing that man break is a hard thing for me to watch or even think about.
A sermon was had - His favorite song was played: Desperado - by The Eagles and that is when everyone lost it. I was the ONLY one who held it togeather and that just made them even ANGRIER at me. Not to mention the preacher was barely talking about him and more about "GIVE YOURSELF TO JESUS OR YOU WILL GOTO HELL." That made me angry.
Very angry.
All of this is why I HATE funerals. I never want to go to them, it takes an important person to me to make me go to one, he was one such person he will be missed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2007|01:02 am] |
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Merry god damn Christmas. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|08:57 pm] |
Wait.
What?
I feel... Good?
Not bad?
WHAT?
NO!
IMPOSSIBLE!
CHANGE IS SCARY! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 5th, 2007|12:14 am] |
I don't dream really.
If I DO manage to sleep I basically close my eyes, time passes, then I wake.
THough of late I have been stricken by the flu (Thats bad FYI.) and I've been having a very lucid dream, that continues where its left off (give or take.) every night.
When I say this dream is lucis it's like, HOLY FUCK. I wish I could PAINT the shit I see in there. Though everything is very cold and ashen colored it's amazing to behold, as are the rather bizzare creatures which are all canine in appearance for some reason.
Just holy fuck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2007|02:20 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Serj Tankian - Empty Walls | ] |
Weird shits goin down, man.
When I first started my job not a SINGLE Spanish customer came through.
Then slowly, one by one, their numbers grew. It started with one, one that wanted to meet me and compliment me on my cooking. Next 5, then 10, 20, 40, 80.
Now atleast 75% of the customers at any given time are SPANISH and they REALLY like meeting me and speaking at me. WHAT. THE. SHIT? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 8th, 2007|10:41 pm] |
You know whats not fun?
Passing out onto an oven. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2007|03:04 pm] |
So I decided to check my auxiliary email account for once.
The one I use to sign up to websites that DEMAND e-mail addresses and such.
And the first e-mail I see is "WHITE SLAVES - INFALLIBILITY OPPOSITIFOLIOUS THRIVINE WISTFULNESS"
Apparently dictionary porn is the new in thing, whats next? nudie pics of Noah Webster? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2007|05:49 pm] |
Cassidy got fired.
This is awesome.
Everyone but my boss and the one guy hates me now.
This is even more awesome.
The best part is she went ballistic about it,
First she cried crocodile tears, then she went ape shit. Then she said stuff about law suits, went ape shit again and left.
Best ever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2007|03:28 am] |
It seems the longer I live the more I am sustained by exspensive prescription meds.
The good shit too.
The latest addition? 500mg Hydrocodone tablets. I am so hiiiigh right now.
Hohohooooh maaan.
WIRED. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2007|11:25 pm] |
Sometimes I wish I was the boss of my place of employment.
Why?
I've come to loathe my co-workers existance. Okay, sure, early employment they were alright, didn't bother me none and I didn't bother them.
Slowly.
Ever so slowly like a fungus creeping along the damp interiors of your walls to try and kill you in your sleep through inhalation.
That changed.
They became obnoxious, nosey, hypocritical douchewhompers. Now, for those of you whom don't know I am currently unable to come into work until the doctor says it's okay, since I got OUT of the hospital my co-workers have done nothing but compound my problems into a quantum singularity of misery and hate. First they drag me along for a night of poorly planned disaster, then, I JEST YOU FUCKING NOT, they give me a present, what is this present you wonder? Oh why it's a karaoke machine of course.
...
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
TODAY, my boss (nice enough guy.) invited me to the restaurant for a night on him. Well, begrudgingly I decided to go.
Food was alright, music was too ITALI-ONNE really, the other forms of entertainment were acceptable.
BUT JUST THEN, Like a raging enema administered by retarded ape on mescaline, Cassidy (Whore.), a mousey girl who works with me came up to me and sat down at the table. She proceeded to speak to me and current events.
I stared with indifference of course, seeing as I did not give a damn about current events.
Inevitably she got to her OWN problems, things about a guy liking another girl who she hates and how hes just like her ex who she cheated on and got dumped because of, her bills piling up. Her probrems.
I still just stared with that tasty indifference pie.
She of course took this as insulting, snarked off at me, yelling, saying I was a fucker for not caring.
I kept eating my indifference pie. Of course I cannot say it didn't totally affect me, it DID piss me off that she tried to chew me out knowing full well I am now incapable of verbally defending my honor.
After I got enough of her snooty slut mouth (she raved for a good 10 minutes.) I simply turned away and resumed eating my Key Lime Pie. Her mouth went agape in disbelief and blind rage as she failed to summon forth the words to lash out at me, grabbed her hat and apron and stormed back into the kitchen ablaze with anger.
I sat there irritated.
BUT IT GETS BETTER.
My co-workers sided with her. Sept for the one, hes awesome.
Yup... Good times. Only not. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|04:55 am] |
Might as well make use of this thing.
So for those of you who didn't know-
I recently started to have troubles speaking and pain in my throat.
Upon a doctor visit some tests and scans were run and a few days later i'm in the hospital at 2 in the morning getting surgery done, why? Tumor and atrophic lymph patch. Luckily the tumor was benign but even so it had already done significant damage to a set of nerves called recurrent laryngeal or summin. After the operation, and like 16 hours of sleep, I try to speak but find I cannot, my heart sinks and I start to have a sort of psuedo panic attack.
Luckily I calmed down but not long after the doctor comes in and informs me i'm most likely permanently mute. Obviously I just kind of went blank and empty on him after that. I was apparently well enough to go home shortly after however. Now i'm out of work for a while until my incision heals, which is bad, can't vocalize- not even laugh or scream, and am constantly shifting in and out of harsh depression and anxiety fits. My Co-Workers, in a foolish and poorly planned attempt to cheer me up, did nothing but compact my depression further.
So yes, i'm not having good times but I am FORCEING myself to act civil and happy with my friends and family despite my new disability as tiring as it is. |
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| BURNING! |
[May. 13th, 2007|01:59 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Queen - These are the days of our lives | ] |
"Get serious!"
Yeah i'm bored so I decided to stomp ass with Terry in SvC.
Ryo ate fist. And it was good. |
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| Pixel piece. |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|08:13 pm] |
The left leg bugs me and the under belly could use work but whatevar. 27 colors not counting background, done in MS-Paint. |
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| HEY! |
[Feb. 23rd, 2007|02:05 am] |
HEY!
Guys!
Guys, hey!
Guys!
.....
Why do I have a LJ? |
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| What the FUCK. |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|02:26 pm] |
HOW MANY PEOPLE have I pissed off to the point of total stagnation of ANY common sense in their head?
HOW MANY?!
For those of you whom don't know several days ago I was attacked by a man whom tried to rob be in the past, failing that he got imprisoned for a short while, apparently he held SUCH A GRUDGE, that he wanted to kill me upon release.
Sure enough he finds me, in the open in the middle of the GOD DAMN DAY surrounded by people and he comes at me, WITH A KNIFE. Yes, he shoire is a smurt one that, after a struggle where I broke his jaw and had him in a damn headlock at the end police take him away after accidentally thinking i was the attacker (admittedly that amused me.) and life went on. Did I mention no one helped? (this man, as a note, was "GANGSTA")
DAYS PASS.
Nothing Happens at first BUT THEN, someone ELSE decides they want to fuck me up something awful with a sharp instrument. This one, I have no idea who they are or what they have against me but they looked real goth, and by goth I mean "I commited suicide, twice, really. I'm not lieing, check my LJ." goth. He too attacks me but much more discreetely, he bumps into me and as i'm apologizeing comes at me with a fucking rambo knife. Now you could say "I bet he was just an unstable person and the bumping was the breaking point." well I would think that too, if not for the fact I noticed him earlier in the morning every so often seemingly following me and occasionally staring. I let it slide up until I turn around to walk into the other direction and WHAP, face fulla goth, RAMBO MODE GO!
This was much less of a struggle as I instinctively knee'd him in the gut and then the groin, AMAZINGLY this time someone helped and fucking tackled him to the ground and swatted the knife away. The both of us held him down as security came and resolved the situation. All the while he was yelling obsceneties at the damned top of his lungs at me with death threats aplenty.
To ALL this I can only wonder, WHAT DID I DO?! I can only suppose i'm rather lucky both these attempted murderers were fucking retards or I may have been in more trouble.
God, and I didn't even get the job. |
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| Stolen from Beta cuz I was bored. |
[Jan. 6th, 2007|09:39 pm] |
100 "HAVE YOU EVERS"
1. made out for more than 3 min?
Nope.
2. Slept in a different bed?:
Dur.
3. Made out in a movie theatre?:
I dun goto movies.
4. Made out with 2 different people in one night?:
You sicken me! You slut!
Kissed?
Yeh.
Made out?:
Har, no.
5. Thought your cousin was hot?:
Nope.
6. Been in love?:
Maybeh.
7. Had a near death experience?:
Many times.
8. Taken a shower with the opposite sex?:
No.
9. Gone over the speed limit?:
Driving is over-rated
10. Painted your room?:
Many a year ago.
11. Driven a car?:
Hurr hurr no.
12. Danced in front of your mirror?:
My mirror is a bad audience.
13. Gotten a hickey?:
No?
15. Stolen money from a friend?:
Nope.
16. Gotten in a car with people you just met?:
No.
21. Made out with a stranger?:
You whore.
22. Left your house with out telling your parents?:
I kinda do that everyday.
23. Had a crush on your neighbor?:
I have neighbors?... Huh, well wouldja look at that, I do.
24. Ditched school to do something more fun?:
No.
25. Slept in a bed with a member of the opposite sex?:
Yeah.
26. Seen someone die?
Yes, several people.
27. Been on a plane?:
Nevar.
28. Kissed a picture?:
No.
29. Slept in until 3?:
I sleep until 7!
30. Love someone or miss some one right now?
Yeah.
31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?:
Grass and rocks hurt.
32. Made a snow angel?:
Yes.
33. Played dress up?:
When I was like, 4, and without my consent.
34. Cheated while playing a game?:
Shoire have.
35. Been lonely?:
You betcha.
37. Been surfing?:
I'll just kinda wade around in the 6 ft range here...
38. Felt an earthquake?:
Yes.
39. Touched a snake?:
Lots.
40. Ran a red light?:
No.
41. Been suspended from school?:
I'm a good student.
42. Talked on the phone for more then 3 hours straight?
Talking is over-rated.
43. Been in a car?:
Uhm... yes.
44. Hated the way you look?:
Time to time.
45. Witnessed a crime?:
Considering i'm usually the victim of these crimes, yes.
46. Been lost?:
Once or twice when I was a kid.
47. Been to the opposite side of the country?:
No.
48. Felt like dying from embarrassment?:
Nuh.
49. Cried yourself to sleep?:
Yep.
50. Sang karaoke?:
I can't sing, if I did someone on this earth would die at random.
51. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?:
Hur, yes. MY WILL IS NOT IRON.
52. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?:
No.
53. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?:
IT NEVAR SNOWS HERE.
54. Been kissed in the rain?:
No.
55. Sung in the shower?:
Nope.
56. Had a dream that you married someone?:
Nuh-uh.
57. Played getting married?
No.
58. Ran away?
No.
59. Ever gone to school partially nude?:
What? no.
60. Been called a whore or slut?:
Lots, jokingly.
61. Sat on a roof top?:
Yes. Tar gets very hot in the summer.
62. Didn't take a shower for a week?:
When I was withotu water and had nowhere to go to take a bath or shwoer for a week yes, it was quite disgusting.
63. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?
I lol at the movies.
64. Played chicken?
yes, we rammed each other. It was awesome.
65. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?:
I weighed 25 lbs more afterwards.
66. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?:
Sadly, yes.
67. Broken a bone?:
Oh gawd why does it hrut so?
68. Been easily amused?:
mmmm probably.
69. Laugh so hard you cry?:
Yeah huh.
70. Cheated on a test?:
Cheatings for losers!
And me.
71. Forgot someone's name?:
What day is it?
72. Blacked out from drinking?:
Alcohol can burn in Satan's fiery rectum.
74. Gone to a late night movie?:
Once.
75. Made love to something that wasnt human?
What're you? A Furry?
76. Failed a class?:
Probably, it was probably math too. God damn numbers...
77. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?:
A ball-bearing when I was little.
78. Played an instrument for more than 5 hours?:
No, and I dun wanna.
80. Been a member of FriendWise.com?:
Whats that?
81. Thrown strange objects?:
Sure have.
83. Thought about running away?:
No.
84. Ran away?
No.
85. Had detention and not attend it?:
Whats detention?
86. Made parents cry?:
Not intentionally.
87. Cried over someone?:
Yes.
88. Lied to a friend?:
mmhmm.
89. Dated someone more than once?:
Yeah.
90. Had a dog?:
Yes, I hate dogs.
91. Own an instrument?
Couple.
92. Been in a band?:
No.
93. Drank 25 pops in a day?:
Soda, yuck.
94. Broken a cd?:
Many times.
95. Shot a gun?:
Self defense.
96. Been on myspace for more than 5 hours?:
Ew, dirty.
98. Have a major crush on someone right now?:
Nope.
99. Have a religion?:
ATHIEST.
100. Gotten high?:
Nope. |
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